


The Silence Grows Louder (Ringing Out In My Head)

by Kirazalea



Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Sibling Duke Thomas, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Nightwing Volume 2 Issue 093, Non-Consensual Touching, POV Outsider, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Assault, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Red Robin Volume 1 Issue 025, Slut Shaming, Team Titans Volume 1 Issue 002, Victim Blaming, all of dick's relationships are either past or non-con, because they're an important part of this family dammit, brief allusions to tim/kon, mentions of cass steph harper and kate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirazalea/pseuds/Kirazalea
Summary: I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe,And it takes everything.Till it all spills out,Reckless but honest words leave out my mouthLike kerosene on a flame of doubt,I just couldn't make it right…Duke notices something while on a mission, and that one observation turns into a confrontation with parts of Dick's past that he's kept hidden from his brothers for years.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Catalina Flores/Dick Grayson, Daughter(s) of Acheron (DCU)/Tim Drake, Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Duke Thomas & Jason Todd, Miriam Delgado/Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802104
Comments: 124
Kudos: 796





	The Silence Grows Louder (Ringing Out In My Head)

**Author's Note:**

> i have a whole rant that i wrote about a few things that i was going to put here, but i'll leave that in the end notes instead so it's easier to skip over if you want. just be aware that if the youtube video i describe about halfway through seems odd or out of place, it's there for a very specific reason  
> and i didn't include the girls or damian in this fic, which i am sorry for, but i genuinely couldn't find a way to fit them into the actual story while still keeping it to what i wanted from this fic. there is quite a bit of duke love, which is also in scarce supply, though, so i hope that helps make up for it
> 
> title (and summary) from anger by sleeping at last (though sorrow, neptune, and earth are also good mood songs for this fic)

Duke was the first to notice. Considering he was living with a family that consisted exclusively of detectives, he almost found that surprising, but for people who were so observant when it came to blood splatters and villainous plots, Duke had found that they could all be incredibly blind to what was right in front of them.

Maybe it was because he didn’t have a history with all of them. He’d only been living in the manor for a few months, but he had already seen that the weight they all carried between them could sometimes color their vision of reality.

Bruce loved Jason dearly, wanted to protect and care for him. Jason just wanted to feel like he actually belonged with them, that there was a chance he could be forgiven for past sins. Batman was incredibly blunt with the Red Hood, and Red Hood couldn’t get through a full minute without spitting out an acerbic or sarcastic comment.

Tim wanted to have a little brother in Damian, to help him move past the admittedly traumatized child his mother had crafted him into. Damian wanted someone who was on something like equal footing for him to talk to, wanted to apologize for the way he’d acted when he was fresh out of the League of Assassins. Red Robin insisted that Robin was a demon and a gremlin, and Damian only ever called him Drake (never Drake-Wayne, even though legally, that was Tim’s name, and had been since before Damian had ever stepped foot into Gotham).

Cass and Harper and Steph all wanted to feel like they had a place in the family. Cass was gone too often to see the way they all moved around a little more lifelessly without her. Harper felt too responsible for her brother, felt too much like a burden to a billionaire, to stay around and see that Bruce would take them both in at the drop of a hat if he thought for a second that they would agree. Steph was only ever here long enough for Bruce to fall into that awkward guilt-ridden silence that he had perfected into an art.

Dick was probably the best at pushing through his tinted glasses to see things for what they really were (even though he struggled just as much as the rest of them to get to that point), but they were all blind to Dick Grayson. 

The Eldest. The Original. The Successor and Golden Child.

Tim was too blinded by the hero worship that had dominated his childhood, and the hurt that Dick had caused when he gave Robin to Damian. Damian had too much admiration for the man who had taken him in, given him love and a purpose. Jason could only see the man he had spent his life being compared to, measured up against and found lacking. 

Dick was constantly speaking with his body more than his words, so maybe Cass could have read it if she had been around enough to see it. Steph, and even Kate, were familiar enough with it on a personal basis that they probably could have pegged it for what it was had they not stayed away too. Thanks to the way people treated Cullen, Harper undoubtedly knew enough about things like this that she might have been able to see it if she’d known Dick a little bit better.

And Bruce… 

Well. Duke didn’t know all of the whys and whens, but he knew that Dick was almost as bad as Jason when it came to blowing up at Bruce, even if he was better at concealing it. The one time he had seen the walls between them come down was when Nightwing had been hit with a new strain of fear toxin, and Bruce had held him in his arms as Dick sobbed in terror. Duke hadn’t seen him back at the cave for a few weeks after that incident.

Really, when he thought about it, Duke wasn’t actually surprised after realizing that no one else had noticed, but he also had to give credit to Dick where credit was due. The man was incredibly good at putting up a persona, and he hadn’t thought that anyone was watching him.

They’d been called in as backup on a League mission with three of their newest recruits. They were all capable heroes, they wouldn’t have been offered membership if they weren’t, but they were wildly inexperienced, especially when it came to people like Nightwing and Red Robin. Hell, Duke almost had as much experience as they did, but he supposed he’d also had people there to mentor him.

Regardless, the mission had gone off without a hitch, largely thanks to the information gathering Tim had forced the other heroes into doing beforehand. They’d tracked down a human trafficking operation, taken out the offenders with not a small amount of prejudice, and were now just waiting for the police to arrive before taking off. Nightwing was talking with the three heroes about the mission, doing a toned down debrief while they waited, Tim was with the victims, offering them blankets and a calm voice to listen to, and Duke was leaning against the wall of the warehouse. 

He was keeping a lookout, but his eyes kept drifting back toward the other heroes without his permission. One was an alien, and she was awesome. Her skin was a deep reddish-orange, she carried a large sword, and she looked like she could snap Duke in half with a flick of her pinkie. She’d been very kind to them before the mission started, and had submitted to Tim’s research without any fuss, though she’d definitely perked up once she was able to do some actual damage. She reminded Duke a lot of Starfire in terms of looks, but her personality and skill set were far closer to Wonder Woman’s, and Duke was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one that had quickly become fond of her. Next to her was a human man, his darker skin complimented by the deep blue uniform he wore. He was still a little shaky with his powers, but Duke knew he’d only had them for a few months without much chance to focus on training them, and he had enough enthusiasm that he’d be able to master them soon enough now that he had access to an actual training facility built for people like him.

The last one was another human, a redheaded woman that, much like her alien companion, possessed extraordinary strength. She was brash and a little cocky, and had complained the most when Tim proposed recon before jumping into the situation blind, but she had been great with the victims when she was leading them out of the warehouse. Her loud presence and personality had helped assure them that they were now safe and that she wouldn’t let anyone hurt them now.

Duke knew it was pretty easy to lose yourself in the image of a hero, to hone in on how powerful and untouchable they seemed, but he’d very quickly forced himself past that kind of thinking for the most part.

He still got a little tongue tied by Wonder Woman sometimes, but he knew that Jason did too, so he didn’t feel too bad about that one.

When the police pulled up by them, Nightwing clapped his hands together.

“Why don’t you three handle this?” he suggested, his head tilted back toward the cars.

The alien looked excited by this prospect, the man saw how excited she was and blanched a little, quickly moving to follow her as she strode forward. The remaining hero followed at a more languid pace, hanging back for a moment as the other two outpaced her.

Duke was about to turn away and help Tim with the victims when he saw it.

The woman winked at Nightwing as she walked away, moving straight through Dick’s space as she went. She brushed up against him and her hand came up to-

Duke blushed and turned away quickly as she smacked Dick’s ass. He was close enough to hear the words she purred at him before leaving.

“Apparently, I could use a _mentor._ Look me up later, I’m sure you could teach me a thing or two, handsome.”

Duke heard Dick laugh a little, and when he risked a glance at them again, he saw Dick grinning at her. She smirked back at him for a second before turning her attention to the cops, joining the other two heroes once more.

Duke was ready to chalk it up to flirting, which he did _not_ want to be involved with in any way. Dick may not have been Duke’s brother in quite the same way as he was to Tim, and objectively, Duke knew that the hero was an incredibly good looking guy who could charm the pants off of someone without even trying, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see that in action. It was bad enough when it happened at galas.

Something in Dick’s expression made him pause though. Duke kept walking, only watching Dick out of the corner of his eye, and he saw the older hero glance around surreptitiously. He stood completely frozen for a moment, the smile that had been so captivating just a second ago now looking dull and forced. He looked like a doll with a painted on expression, none of the passion or emotion that Dick was known for behind it.

Then he snapped out of it, swallowing and moving toward them and Duke turned his attention onto Tim just as he reached him. Nightwing soon joined them and together, they got all of the victims settled. There was no trace of the discomfort Duke had seen as Dick helped the civilians, the movements and reassuring expressions coming as naturally as breathing it seemed.

Duke wondered if maybe he’d imagined the whole thing, but as they were walking back towards the Zeta tube to return to the Watchtower, he noticed that the woman and Dick had fallen behind.

“Crap, I left my communicator back at the warehouse,” he said, already moving back a little.

Tim stared at him, his expression unreadable underneath the cowl he wore, and Duke knew he’d need to give a better explanation later, especially since they both knew that Duke’s comm was wired into his helmet, but Red Robin nodded and continued forward.

Duke quickly ducked off to the side, hoping the two behind them were too wrapped up with each other to notice. Sometimes it was hard to be Bat-level stealthy in bright yellow armor, but that didn’t mean that Duke hadn’t been paying attention during that particular lesson either.

“Look,” he heard Dick say, “I’m flattered, I really am, but I’m just not looking for anything right now.”

She laughed a little as they both passed Duke’s hiding spot. “Come on,” she wheedled, “I may have only been in the larger community for a couple of months now, but I’ve heard about the infamous Nightwing. You don’t have to play hard to get. I’m already hooked. And besides, you don’t have to act all innocent now that the kiddies aren’t here.”

Duke heard Dick sigh quietly, and it sounded more exasperated than anything. Duke, on the other hand, was confused and a little upset. _The infamous Nightwing?_ What kind of a reputation did Dick have with the rest of the heroes to earn that moniker? And the way she clearly couldn’t take a hint was bothering Duke a little more. She sounded playful, even as she completely dismissed Nightwing’s refusal.

He stood up and exited the space between the two buildings as quietly as he could before, jogging to catch up to them. The redhead looked a little caught off guard and put out by his company, but Dick turned and smiled kindly at him.

“Forgot something,” he shrugged. “Had to run back and grab it.”

He wasn’t entirely sure if Dick knew what he was doing or not, but he didn’t mention it again, and the conversation between the two adults was clearly over now that he was there.

When they reached the Zeta point, the alien was already gone and the other man was in the process of disappearing in a bright flash. Tim was standing off to the side, his arms crossed loosely. “I was beginning to wonder if I needed to send out a search party,” he joked dryly, and Duke knew his eyebrow was raised underneath that mask.

The other woman’s cheeks darkened just a little, and Duke only noticed because he was specifically looking, before she moved toward the pad.

“How do you think they did?” Dick asked as soon as she was gone.

Tim shrugged. “They all have their own strengths and weaknesses. They might fit better with other teams when they do League work, but they all did well enough. With a little more work, I think they’ll get along just fine.”

“Signal?” Dick asked, turning toward him.

Duke thought about the way the woman had pestered Nightwing. “They did alright, but there are definitely areas they could each improve in.” _Like taking no for an answer,_ he refrained from adding.

Nightwing just nodded. “I agree.”

The mission was done, Duke doubted he’d ever have to see the very persistent hero ever again if he didn’t really want to, but the whole thing left him with a bad taste in his mouth and more questions than he had answers for.

* * *

Of all the people Jason expected to find in his safehouse, Duke Thomas was not high on his list. Tim, yes; at this point, he just kept his fridges stocked with that shitty soda the kid liked, even if he wouldn’t admit to it. But Duke was generally quiet enough around him that he hadn’t really factored in potential visits from Bruce’s newest stray.

Nevertheless, there he was, sitting on Jason’s couch and looking a little nervous, though Jason had to admit he was hiding it fairly well.

Good for him.

“Can I help you?” Jason called out, still standing in his doorway, his grocery bags stacked up in his arms.

Duke cringed a little, standing up and moving toward Jason. “Do you want any help with that?” he asked, gesturing toward the bags.

Jason shifted his grip enough that he could let go of the door handle and kick it shut behind him.

“Nah,” he replied, moving towards the counter tops that separated his kitchen. Duke seemed to wilt a little as he left him behind in the living room. Jason sighed inaudibly under his breath as he put things away in the cupboards. This was the one night he’d decided to take off from patrol, without informing anyone but Oracle, he might add, so of course one of the little rugrats would find their way over.

He closed the fridge door and turned, leaning over the counter to stare at Duke.

“So. Can I help you?” he repeated.

Duke stared back at him, quiet for a moment, before he dropped his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe this was a bad idea,” he heard the kid mumble under his breath.

Jason sighed audibly this time and decided to take pity on him. He moved around into the living room and sat down, gesturing to the open space beside him.

“Sit down,” he offered tiredly. Duke did, though he perched on the edge of the seat looking like he was ready to shoot up again at any time. That just made Jason feel like an asshole. He’d honestly been trying to play nice with the bats and the birds lately.

“God, kid, I’m not going to shoot you,” he said, hoping a promise of non-violence would set him at least a little more at ease. Jason’s back hurt just looking at him sitting up so rigidly. “Pinky promise.”

“I- I know,” Duke stuttered, now looking a little embarrassed. “I just… I didn’t want to impose.”

Jason waved his hand. At least _this_ one was polite. “Don’t worry about it. Now, what brings you to my humble abode?”

Duke’s eyes flicked around, taking in the apartment, but he didn’t comment on it, which Jason found admirable. It was a step up from some of the shitholes Jason kept around, but the step wasn’t a very large one.

It felt homey to Jason, and he kept it clean enough that it didn’t bother him.

“I…” Duke trailed off, biting his lip with a frown and looking like he was thinking through something. Jason was surprised Bruce hadn’t trained that habit out of him yet, because he knew how much it sucked to bite through your lip by accident. 

“It’s about Dick,” he finally said, looking up carefully to gauge Jason’s reaction.

To Duke, there was no reaction, Jason knew. But internally, Jason was now a fluster of different emotions. Part of him was a little bitter that _of course_ Duke wouldn’t come to him just for his company, no of course it was about big bird. Another was confused that Duke was coming to _Jason_ of all people for something Dick related. A quieter part of him was worried by the look on Duke’s face, concerned about what had happened with Dick to put it there.

When Duke didn’t say anything more, Jason sighed internally _again._ “What about him?” he asked neutrally.

Duke’s eyes dropped again, fixating on the cushion between them. “Well… there was a mission we went on for the League, right? And it went fine, no one got hurt or anything.” Something in Jason’s chest loosened just a little. “But there was this other hero, some chick. I… I don’t remember her name,” he mumbled, looking embarrassed again, “but she was…” Duke shook his head, still frowning. “She wouldn't lay off him. It was weird, she kept talking about his reputation or whatever, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer when Dick turned her down.”

Jason felt himself frown along with Duke. “What do you want me to do about it?” he asked, a little baffled.

Duke sighed. “I don’t know, nothing I guess? I just wanted to see if you knew about this whole _‘reputation’_ thing she was talking about.” Jason could hear the air quotes around the word with the amount of derision Duke put into it. “I figured, if anyone knew, maybe…?” 

Jason felt a little flattered by that, along with a healthy dose of confusion as to _why_ Duke thought that he hung around other superheroes enough to get the good gossip. But if the kid was going to trust him with this, he figured he might as well look into it for him. It couldn’t hurt to have at least one person in this family who had never had him on their shit list.

He was also more than a little concerned by the picture Duke’s strokes seemed to be painting. He figured it was nothing like that, but better safe than sorry.

“I’m not sure what she meant,” he admitted, “but I can ask around, see if there’s anyone that does.”

Duke smiled at him. “Thanks.” He genuinely looked a little relieved by the fact that this was now Jason’s problem as well. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, hauling himself up and moving toward the kitchen, the giant ass bruise on his thigh from where he’d been slammed over a railing flaring up at the movement. “You hungry?” he called behind him.

“Uh… sure?”

“Great. Get in here and help me then.”

* * *

As promised, Jason did some digging. He wasn’t exactly Miss Popularity like Nightwing or Superman, but he figured someone that knew Dick more personally might at least have an idea of where he could start, so he called up Roy soon after Duke left.

“Hel- Lian, I said _no._ Hello?”

Jason smiled. “Having trouble?” he teased.

Roy scoffed. “You know, if you just called to make fun of me, I could always just hang up.”

“Unfortunately for both of us, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

There was a little bit of shuffling on the other end of the phone accompanied by indistinct voices, so Jason leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the desk. 

“Sorry, I wanted to deal with Lian first; she was trying to sneak dessert in before dinner.”

Jason gasped dramatically. “How _dare_ she,” he mocked.

“Hanging up. Any time.”

“Hold your horses,” Jason smiled. God, he needed to visit the two of them soon. “I actually did want to see if you could help me with something.”

Roy’s voice was more suspicious than Jason thought was warranted. “And that would be?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Just info, don’t worry. One of Bruce’s new kids came to me and asked if I knew about any _reputations_ Dick might have in the larger community.”

“I mean I can think of a few,” Roy replied dryly. “What specifically was he asking about?”

“He said they were on a League mission with a couple of new guys. ‘Said one of ‘em wouldn’t take no for an answer when Dickhead turned her down. She, apparently, replied that she was fully aware of his reputation and that he didn’t need to play coy, or hard to get or some shit. Ringing any bells?”

Roy hummed knowingly, but it didn’t sound like a happy noise to Jason.

“Roy?” he prompted.

“Yeah. Yeah, I might know what she’s talking about. Do you know anyone she might’ve been talking to, or what she looked like?”

“No idea about the first one, but she was a little shorter, came up to Dick’s shoulder I guess. Redhead, tanned skin, orange and gold costume,” Jason listed off.

Roy sighed and Jason frowned because that _definitely_ wasn’t a good sigh. “Her name’s Surge. Kori mentioned her the last time she came over.”

Jason straightened up in his seat, his feet falling to the floor.

_Shit._

“Ah,” Jason said lamely.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Roy huffed.

“So. She probably heard more about what Dickhead’s like in bed than anyone should and decided she wanted to give it a try?” Jason asked, swallowing down a bit of distaste. He loved Kori, but she didn’t really care much about human ideals of modesty and privacy. Normally, that wasn’t a problem, but in this case that difference may have caused a bit of a misunderstanding for the new girl. Dick was incredibly showy and liked to put on a performance, sure, but Jason knew he was a lot more private than most people would think. Kori’s tales of who he had been with her while they dated may have given some expectations that Dick wasn’t inclined to meet with someone he’d known for five minutes.

Roy sighed again, sounding a little agitated. “No, I doubt it,” he replied.

Jason’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that she came over because it was the anniversary of when she broke up with Dick, and she didn’t want to be alone. She met Surge the day before, so I doubt she had very many kind things to say about him.”

“That… makes no sense. If she was shit talking him, why would Surge immediately try to get in his pants?”

Jason could just barely hear Roy swallow over the phone.

“Roy?”

“She… might have implied that he was easy,” Roy answered slowly. “Like. _Beyond_ easy.”

Jason was incredibly lost at this point. “Why would she imply _that?_ Wouldn’t she, of all people, know that’s not true?”

“Jay,” Roy said carefully, like he thought Jason was intentionally playing dumb. “Don’t you know why they broke up?”

Jason was about to shoot back that _yes,_ of _course_ he did, because he did _not_ appreciate Roy using that tone on him, but he bit it back as he realized that no, he didn’t actually know. He’d never wanted to bring it up with Kori, not nearly curious enough to risk making her upset or pissing her off, and she had never brought it up on her own. And again, Jason wasn’t exactly winning any popularity contests with the other heroes after decapitating several drug lords his first month back in town.

“If I didn’t, would you tell me?” he ground out.

“Shit,” Roy sighed, and Jason couldn’t help but agree.

“It’s not… it wasn’t pretty,” he warned.

“Yeah, I kind of figured that out myself, thanks.”

“I mean it, Jay.” His friend’s voice had hardened and turned incredibly serious. He sighed again though, and his voice just sounded tired. “There were these timetravelors. They apparently came from an alternate future where Donna’s kid was an evil overlord, and they wanted to stop that from ever happening by killing her before the guy could be born.”

To anyone else that would sound strange enough to at least warrant a raised eyebrow, but Jason saw stranger shit on a weekly basis.

“One of them was a shapeshifter,” Roy continued. “Mirage.”

And Jason suddenly didn’t like where this was going _at all._

“Her and the team she came back with eventually joined us to stop the bad guy, but… not before she slept with Dick. Kori found out when Mirage started flaunting it in front of the team. She kept talking about how they were apparently together in the future, and how he didn’t need anybody but her, and Kori was _pissed._ But more than that, it- Jason, it _wrecked_ her emotionally. You know what her sister did to her, what happened before she came to Earth, and _this_ on top of all of that… She trusted Dick more than anyone, and the fact that he had sex with someone else, even if he didn’t mean to, broke part of her.” 

Roy sighed again, and a small part of Jason’s brain that was capable of more than just repeating _what the fuck_ thought that there had been far too much sighing in his life tonight.

“What-” Jason had to stop and clear his throat when the word came out a little strangled sounding. “What do you mean he didn’t _mean_ to. Dick’s not the kind of guy that just _stumbles_ into that kind of shit, Roy.” His voice had gained an edge, even though he was trying to hold back his anger and worry.

“I guess she took on Kori’s form. She’d chained Kori up and taken her place on the team so that she could try to kill Donna, and he didn’t find out until after the fact.”

Jason had to take a deep breath and close his eyes. “Roy,” he said, his voice shaking. “You realize he didn’t _cheat_ on Kori, right?”

“Look, Jay, I know he never meant to, and I know he regrets it, but-”

“But _what_ Roy? He didn’t fucking _cheat_ on her, he was _raped!_ I know none of you were exactly _detectives,”_ he spit out cruelly, “but didn’t any of you fucking notice that tiny little fact? Didn’t any of you _help_ _him?”_

Roy’s silence was as damning as it was infuriating.

Jason threw his phone against the wall, watching it bounce off and leave a dent where it hit. It lay shattered on the floor, and Jason knew exactly what it must have felt like, lying there with no way of putting itself back together the way it was before.

* * *

Tim pulled Duke aside after patrol that night.

“Want to go out and grab something with me?” 

Duke looked up at him from where he was seated on the bench. He looked around, probably checking if Alfred was within hearing range. “Um… sure, why not?”

Tim’s smile was small, but he offered Duke a hand and pulled him to his feet.

They headed out of the cave, taking one of Bruce’s cheaper cars back into the town they had just left. They went through the drive-thru of Bat Burger and Tim parked them on a cliff that overlooked the harbor, a few miles out from the manor.

“Uh-oh,” Duke joked, smiling over at him. “Should I be worried?”

Tim noticed that his smile was a little bit strained, but chose not to comment on it.

“You’ve finally caught onto my evil plan,” Tim replied in a flat voice. “Now I have you alone where no one can hear you scream as the poisoned fries tear away at your body. Now how will I blame your death on Bat Burger?”

Duke, who had just lifted a fry toward his mouth, froze, his wide eyes locking onto him. He slowly put the fry back and Tim couldn’t hold back his snort, a smile breaking out over his face.

 _“Jesus,_ man,” Duke huffed as Tim laughed, “you can’t pull crap like that, I can never tell if you’re joking. If _anyone_ in this family could pull something like that off, it’d be you.”

Tim wasn’t sure how he felt about his apparent status as the evil mastermind of the family, considering Jason and Damian had been genuine evil masterminds at one point, but he decided he was tired enough to take it as a compliment for now.

“Thank you,” he replied, popping a few fries in his mouth.

Duke snorted in response, a grin softening his features again.

“Seriously though,” Duke continued, “why’d you bring me up here? Is this about earlier?”

Tim _had_ been wondering why Duke had gone back. It’d been running around at the back of his thoughts all day, especially considering Duke hadn’t even tried to hide the fact that his excuse was so flimsy from him.

“Your communicator?” Tim asked, eyebrow raised.

Duke shuffled a little bit. “Look, I panicked, okay? I knew nothing would fool you anyways, I just wanted an excuse if the others were listening.”

Tim shook his head, smiling a little. “Fair enough, I suppose. I’m glad you’ve realized you can’t hide from me at least.”

“Uh, yeah dude. I knew that _long_ before I moved into the house on the hill.”

Tim hid his amused smile into his burger as he took a bite.

“So what were you actually doing?” he asked, after he finished swallowing. Alfred had raised him better than that, after all.

Duke was still chewing, but his forehead creased a little and the chewing slowed. Once he’d swallowed as well, he frowned. “Did you notice anything weird about the human hero?”

“Surge or Nocturu?” he asked, though he was fairly confident he knew the answer already. He thought back through the mission, joining Duke with a frown of his own.

“Surge, _that_ was her name,” Duke mumbled, and Tim raised his eyebrow again.

“I had other things on my mind,” Duke said defensively, his hand raised up a little in surrender.

“She’s not fond of putting in the legwork that doesn’t involve beating up bad guys, but that’s not exactly uncommon, unfortunately.” There were far too many heroes that preferred to rush in and let their powers handle everything. More than once Tim had been ready to bash his head into a wall back when Kon was still among that group, but thankfully the farm boy had learned a thing or two about the value of thinking ahead since then.

“No, I don’t mean during the mission,” Duke dismissed. “Like… afterwards, when we were walking back?”

“She was talking with Nightwing out of earshot. I figured he would call if he wanted us involved.”

“Well, _she_ definitely didn’t want us involved,” Duke said.

“What were they talking about?” 

Duke’s demeanor went from upset to flustered in an instant, and Tim had a pretty good idea of why.

“Ah,” he said flatly, turning to look out of the window.

“She’s… not great at taking a hint,” Duke said, and Tim turned back to look at him.

“Yeah, he gets that a lot.”

Duke’s frown deepened. “I mean, I get it, I guess. He’s a decent looking dude, but like… I don’t know, it just…” Duke trailed off.

“But there’s more to it?” Tim guessed. Duke looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to share something.

Duke met his eyes and just stared for a moment, but Tim guessed that he had passed. “She smacked his ass when she walked away earlier, after the cops showed up. And he looked… I don’t know, it was just for a second, I kinda thought I was projecting onto him or something, but he looked like he was gonna be sick for a second there.”

Tim froze, his mind racing. Duke’s words reminded him of something, and he was trying to remember what. It was like trying to cup water in his hands; he could hold on to a tiny piece, to the feeling that this was familiar, but the rest was rushing out of his grasp.

“Tim?” Duke asked, sounding confused. “You okay?”

Tim snapped his attention back, eyes narrowing. “Yeah, sorry,” he apologized absently. “You just reminded me of something, but I can’t think of what.”

Duke blinked. “Well, have you ever seen him get his ass slapped before?”

No, and hopefully he never would. Tim had _long_ since gotten over his slight crush on the first Boy Wonder, but he wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t blush horribly if that happened.

“Wait, that’s it!” He grabbed his phone out of the cupholder, opening up Youtube and trying to think of what he’d have to type to find the clip, if it was even _on_ there.

Duke raised an eyebrow at him. “Care to share with the class?”

Tim felt himself blush _now._ “Um…” He _really_ didn’t want to explain his thought process to Duke.

Duke rolled his eyes. “Just show me what you’ve got, dude.”

Tim cleared his throat. “Dick did an interview once, back before Jason died,” he explained. “It was this whole, like, panel thing with a few other famous people, and…” 

Tim trailed off, typing in a search for it. Tim recognized the stage setting in the first clip that popped up.

He looked up at Duke to find him already looking at Tim. “Well?” he said, looking pointedly at the phone.

Tim looked down at the thumbnail, swallowing against the heart that had suddenly decided to take up residence in his throat. It had taken him so long to remember it because Tim had done his best to forget that he ever saw it. He’d always felt a little uncomfortable with it, even as a kid, and now Tim understood _why._

But Duke was waiting on him, so he opened the video.

They watched in silence as one of the other celebrities, a c-list movie actress that had been part of a popular franchise a few years ago and had since dropped off the map, flirted shamelessly with Dick. The Dick on screen was visibly younger than the one Duke knew, and it was a throwback for Tim as well. It reminded him of long weeks spent alone in an empty house, of running through the streets of Gotham, armed with nothing more than his camera.

Dick was just as charming as he ever was, making the crowd roar as he playfully flirted back. But as she got up from her chair, slowly moving toward him as the crowd cheered, he could see the moment Dick realized that she was serious with her intent. It was a minuscule change that most people would probably miss, especially since he kept playing along, but Tim could see the fear and distaste in his eyes and body language in that second.

This interview had happened not long after the Anaconda video had dropped, so the crowd cheered even louder as she began twerking on him, playing it up far more than was necessary, and Tim had to look away, his embarrassment getting the better of him. He hadn’t been able to watch it the first time around either.

Duke looked distinctly uncomfortable as Tim’s gaze shifted onto him, but he watched the video intently. Tim heard Dick joke it off, to the approval of the crowd, but as the camera swung from him back toward the host, Tim caught the way his jaw had tightened.

There were a few more minutes on the video, but Tim skipped ahead, knowing the other half of it was further in. He stopped when the same actress reached out in front of her, blindfolded. 

Dick and another woman were standing in front of her, and she lightly closed her lips around the actress’s outstretched finger, before rushing back to her seat as the actress exclaimed and the crowd laughed.

When she took off her blindfold and saw Dick standing there, looking for all the world like he found the whole thing just as amusing as the live audience behind him, she jumped to her feet excitedly. She tried to pick him up, her arms coming around his ass like she was about to sweep him off his feet. Dick jumped out of her touch, laughing it off, but she was persistent and grabbed at him again, this time succeeding in lifting him off the floor. His body was pressed to hers, and she had quite the grip on his lower half. Dick looked shocked and played it off with laughter, but Tim knew from experience that it was nervousness in those eyes, not humor.

The video ended and Tim locked his phone again, the car seeming a lot darker without the screen’s light.

“That’s…” Duke started as they both stared out into the harbor.

“Yeah,” Tim finished.

“Does this happen to him often?” Duke asked, turning his gaze onto Tim.

Tim glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. His mind was racing back through every interview and gala that he could remember seeing Dickie Grayson at, every team-up that Nightwing had been a part of. Dick was a people person, a people _pleaser,_ and he often played that up in both of his chosen roles; but how much of the attention he received was actually wanted?

Tim wasn’t even a teenager when that interview had aired, he hadn’t had the words and knowledge to understand why he’d felt so uncomfortable with what he saw; but he knew now.

Sexual harassment. Sexual _assault._ Objectification. 

And now that he thought about it, that was far from the last time he’d seen Dick chuckle uncomfortably as a young socialite pressed herself a little too close to him, or another hero let their gaze rake over him appreciatively as he walked away, even as Dick’s shoulder’s tightened.

Dick Grayson, after all, was a very good looking man. 

* * *

Jason was surprised when Tim called him out of the blue at three in the morning, but it just saved him the trouble of having to call the Replacement later on in the day. Apparently they were already on the same page. 

Duke worked fast it seemed.

* * *

Normally, Dick would watch himself move around in the mirror while he got ready. He knew the value of multi-tasking, so while he cleaned his teeth, he would check to see that his hair was ruffled into place, that his face was smooth and he hadn’t missed any spots while shaving; he would check that his outfit wasn’t wrinkled and that he looked good enough to exist in the world as the son of Bruce Wayne, should some photographer or journalist run across him.

He stared into the sink as he brushed.

The one attempt he’d made to meet his own eyes had left him with a shattered mirror, a bleeding fist, and a nauseating feeling in his stomach. 

He hated that he still let it affect him this badly. 

He’d been able to hold it all together until they’d debriefed and Dick was able to leave without anyone asking too many questions, but the second he got home, he’d let his head hit the pillow and hadn’t moved until about twenty minutes ago. He’d laid there, bundled up in way too many blankets and staring absently at the wall. He’d eventually put on music, trying to drown out all of the thoughts and memories that were battering his brain, but that had just made him even more anxious because he couldn’t hear his surroundings. Eventually, as the shadows had made their journey across the room and grown deeper until they were all that was left, he’d slipped into an uneasy sleep. He couldn’t remember anything he’d dreamed about, but it left him feeling uneasy and tense when he woke up to the first rays of dawn peaking through the smog and the small hole in his window blinds.

He’d forced himself out of bed, already feeling guilty for not patrolling, even though he hadn’t been planning to anyways. For all that Dick had wronged her, Barbara still cared about him and was willing to cover for him around this time of year, and the beginning of spring. 

She knew how bad anniversaries could hit a person. It was better for everyone if he wasn’t out on the streets anyways, but it didn’t stop the shame from curling cozily in his gut.

He finished brushing, knowing that he was only doing it because he had built it into his routine and it felt wrong not to go through all of the motions. Right now, he didn’t think he would mind if he looked as bad as he felt. Maybe it would at least turn people away for a day.

Dick pulled on his sweats and an oversized sweatshirt that might have been Bruce’s or Jason’s at one point. Maybe even Clark’s, though he doubted that one a little more. Tim was the one that had the problem with stealing shirts from a Super.

He caught sight of himself in the microwave as he walked into the kitchen, and he had to admit that he looked like shit. He was wearing baggy gray clothing that completely hid his form from the world, there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, his hair was a disaster and what little skin that could be seen was flushed a bright red from his almost scalding hot shower, and his hand was wrapped in white bandages. 

He turned away again, focused on pulling out some eggs to scramble for breakfast. He could handle scrambled eggs. 

His stomach made a move like it didn’t quite agree with him, but he pushed past it.

He hadn’t had anything besides a small breakfast yesterday. He needed to eat.

He forced himself through the meal, pointedly not looking towards anything that might show him his own reflection. He’d already turned over the pictures he kept around yesterday.

It was as he was carefully washing the pan he’d cooked with, making sure not to get the bandages wet because they were horrible to deal with at that point and he didn’t want to deal with using all of his supplies for something as stupid as this, that his living room window slid open.

Dick froze where he was, the running water covering up his harsh intake of air as he gripped the pan more securely. It was clutched in his non dominant hand, and it would hurt like hell to take a swing with his injured hand, but he knew how to work through that if it came to it.

As he forced himself to look up in the microwave’s reflection, he saw Jason climbing through his window with ease.

Tim followed, a quiet grace in his limbs as he slid in effortlessly.

Duke was a little more awkward than the other two, and it was less of one smooth movement than it was a couple of jerks to fit his body in, but he hadn’t caught his foot on the sill like he had the first time Dick had tried showing him how to do it, so he’d count that as decent progress for the guy.

Dick lowered the pan into the sink, deciding to let it soak. He dried his hands off and joined his little brothers, who had made themselves perfectly at home in his living room. Tim was perching with both feet up in Dick’s chair, Jason had his arm thrown over the back of the couch, and Duke was sitting on the other side of the couch. Dick leaned against the wall, pulling the sleeve of his shirt down and crossing his arms to hide his hand. He put his worries to the back of his mind, felt himself slipping into the role of Dick Grayson: older brother.

“How can I help you?” he asked sarcastically.

* * *

Duke bit his lip, just barely catching a laugh before it left his mouth. He _knew_ Jason had turned toward him, glaring and daring him to say a _single_ word, but he just couldn’t help it. Dick glanced at Tim, who looked just as confused, and Duke had to cough to keep from losing it. 

“So far I’ve gotten a cough,” Dick continued, voice mild as he looked simultaneously amused and unimpressed, a talent Duke knew he’d gained from Alfred. “Do I have any other takers, or did you all just decide to lounge around in my apartment for the day?” 

“Actually,” Tim said, shifting to sit up, “we… came to talk to you about yesterday.”

Dick frowned. “Okay? What about it?”

Tim’s eyes shifted over to Duke while Jason stayed staring directly at Dick, something odd in the serious set of his face. Tim had asked him to come with to talk about Dick’s inability to stick up for himself, and Jason had let them know that he’d already planned on visiting. Duke figured he must have found out about the looks and comments on the hero side of things.

Duke’s eyes widened under the attention as Dick also turned to him, and he coughed again to actually clear his throat. 

“Um… I, ah…” He wouldn’t meet Dick’s eye as he stuttered over the words, but he forced in a breath, stealing himself as he finally looked up. “I saw Surge flirting with you yesterday. You… you didn’t seem very into it. She didn’t seem to care.”

Dick seemed to stiffen without actually moving. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he replied carefully. Duke felt his stomach drop, because _Jesus, Dick, why have you never said anything?_

Dick shifted a little, looking like he was going for casual. “Is that all this was about?” he asked gently. “Look, everything’s fine, I haven’t even seen her since. It was just a misunderstanding.”

Duke found that he couldn’t meet Dick’s eyes again. This was considered _normal_ for Dick? He didn’t think it was that big of a deal? “I also saw you dissociate for a second when she slapped your ass,” he said, quiet and firm, even though his hands were shaking in his lap.

Dick’s breath stuttered for just a second, but it was enough for the three vigilantes to pick up on. “Look,” he pushed out, a new strain in his voice, “I didn’t particularly _like_ what she did, and it did catch me off guard for a minute, I’ll admit, but I’m _fine,_ I promise. She was just joking around, I know that.”

 _She was just joking around,_ echoed in Duke’s head. If that was joking, what the hell did Dick qualify as being serious?

“Do you?” Jason demanded, and Duke could almost taste his rage in the air. It seemed Dick could too, because he started fidgeting. Not much, Duke could barely even tell, but it was _there._

“Do I what?” Dick asked cautiously.

“Do you know she was just kidding? _How?_ Because she didn’t try to _force_ you to sleep with her? To _trick_ you into it?”

Dick wasn’t breathing anymore, staring at Jason with a panicked look in his eyes. He took in a shuddering breath, his face going completely blank. “How’s Roy doing?” he asked, voice as flat as his expression.

“Roy’s fine,” Jason bit back. “Kori too.”

Dick flinched a little at the name, and Jason looked like he’d finally caught him out.

“Why didn’t you _tell_ anyone, Dick?” Jason’s voice was shaking, but it sounded like grief, not fury.

“What was I supposed to say?” Dick whispered, arms tightening around his body. “I _cheated_ on her, Jason, she’s the-”

“Goddamit, Dick, you didn’t cheat on her, you were _raped!”_ Jason shouted, flying to his feet as his chest heaved.

Duke pressed himself as far back into the couch as he could, trying to get away from the anger and the words that stung far more than a physical blow ever could. Tim was staring horrified at the two, a stricken expression on his face. Dick, on the other hand, met Jason inch for inch and shoved himself forward.

“I _chose_ to sleep with her, Jason, _I’m_ the one that didn’t notice!” Dick spat, something dark coloring his voice. Duke could see his hands shaking, and _shit,_ why was one of them wrapped up?

“You _chose_ to sleep with your _girlfriend!”_ Jason snarled. “You shouldn’t have _had_ to notice! _You_ were the victim just as much as Kori!”

“It doesn’t _matter!_ I _betrayed_ her, I _hurt_ her! And when everyone found out, they made that little fact _quite_ clear! I’m a slut that can’t keep it in his fucking pants, okay, I _know!_ And if that means that people smack my ass or hold me down, then I did that to _myself!”_

No one said a thing, and Dick’s words hung in the air around them, pushing Duke down until it felt like he was suffocating. 

“Dick?” Tim whispered. The sound of his voice breaking was as loud as a gunshot in the sudden quiet that had fallen over the room.

Dick sucked in a breath, his uninjured hand coming up to cover his eyes as he turned away. Duke saw his lips thin and whiten as he pressed them harshly together.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back. “I didn’t mean to-” He cut himself off, but Duke heard the wobble at the end.

There were tears in Jason’s eyes as he took a deep breath in and held it. “Dick? Who told you that?”

Dick’s shoulders hunched up. “Nobody had to.”

Duke closed his eyes, taking a few breaths himself. He felt like he was choking and he didn’t know what to do. He knew _something_ was wrong yesterday, but he never thought it would be like _this. This_ was so much worse than anything Duke had feared. 

What the hell had Jason found out? What the _hell_ happened to Dick, and why did it feel like _no one else knew?_

“Dick…” Jason continued, his voice softer than Duke had ever heard it. “You’re not… You’re not a _slut_ because someone took advantage of you. That wasn’t your fault.”

Dick’s arms wrapped around himself again, his shoulders hunched up so tensely that it looked like he was trying to become a turtle and hide away from the world by retreating into his own skin. 

“I know no one else thought about it like that,” Jason continued, “but can you honestly tell me you would’ve slept with Mirage if you had known it was her?”

Dick whirled around, a devastated look on his face. _“No,”_ he pleaded, “of _course_ not, I never wanted to hurt Kori like that.”

Jason reached out, grabbing Dick’s upper arms. “It wasn’t just Kori that she hurt, though. And don’t tell me you deserved it, because we both know you didn’t.”

Dick looked like he was going to argue the point regardless, but Tim spoke up from where he was staring intently at the floor.

“What if it had been me?”

Jason and Dick both froze, identical scared faces turning toward Tim. “Tim?” Dick asked.

“What if I had been the one that didn’t notice? Would you tell me it was _my_ fault? That I couldn’t feel horrified or violated because I should’ve noticed, I should’ve been _better?”_

Dick’s eyes were noticeably damper. “Tim, of _course_ not-”

“Then it wasn’t your fault either,” Tim said, leaving no room for disagreement. He seemed to hesitate for just a moment before pressing on. “Last year, Ra’s had me. He wanted an heir, so he had chained me up and sent his sister in to do the job. She was already naked and unzipping my uniform before Cass showed up. I didn’t _want_ her to touch me, she didn’t _ask_ to touch me, and she didn’t care. Was she just joking around too? Would it’ve been my fault if Cass hadn’t shown up because _I_ didn’t notice something was wrong until I was already unconscious?” he demanded, his voice growing more upset with every word he spoke.

“Tim,” Dick tried, moving away from Jason. Jason’s arms fell to his sides as he stared intently at Tim. Duke felt like he was spiraling as he listened to all the secrets he never knew existed between this family.

“That’s not the same,” Dick argued, getting down on one knee as he put a hand over Tim’s. “That wasn’t your fault, you didn’t want to be there-”

“You didn’t want to be with her either, Dick. You wanted to be with Kori, someone you _loved.”_ Tim was staring at Dick with such sadness that Duke didn’t know how his eyes weren’t even a little damp. “Just because you have a pretty smile, doesn’t give people the right to take what they want from you.”

Dick dropped his gaze to the floor, his eyes squeezing shut. “They always _have._ It’s… it’s not something I like, but it’s not something I can stop.” He was getting worked up again, standing up and pacing across the floor before forcing himself to stop at the furthest point, near the hallway. “And besides,” he mumbled, sounding resigned, “it’s not like it changes things when I _do_ say no. So I might as well just suck it up and move on.”

Duke was afraid to ask. He didn’t know how big of a landmine he was stepping into here, but this wasn’t about him or his comfort. “Who did you say no to?”

Dick tensed again. “It doesn’t-”

“If you say it doesn’t matter,” Jason announced, cutting Dick off, “I _will_ throw myself out of your window and make you haul me back up.”

Duke really wasn’t sure if that was an empty threat or not, but Dick seemed to take it to heart. “Okay, _okay,_ I’m _sorry,”_ he replied quickly, his hands coming up in front of him. Jason’s eyes narrowed on the stark white bandages, and Dick flushed, dropping his arms again, but he didn’t say anything about them.

Dick crossed his arms again, looking the most uncomfortable he’d been the entire conversation. “There was another vigilante, back in Bludhaven. She… she reminded me of you a little,” he said, looking back at Jason. Jason looked like he was going to be sick, but Dick had already turned away from them again. “She wanted to help people, and she didn’t mind getting her hands dirty. I thought I could… I knew that I’d fucked up with you, and I thought that maybe, I could help her. That I could teach her how to channel her anger into something more productive so that she wouldn’t get hurt. But I fucked that up too. Babs thought I was cheating on her with Cat, then everything went up into flames and people kept dying around me left and right and I knew Blockbuster wouldn’t _stop._ So when she held a gun to his head… I just got out the way and let her take the shot. I felt _sick,_ it felt like I couldn’t breath, but she followed me up onto the roof, and I told her _no,_ I told her to stop, that I’d failed her, it was my fault, but she just kept…” Dick was hugging himself a little too tight, and Duke wanted to do _something,_ but Dick looked like he’d shatter at the slightest touch.

Jason took a step toward him, making sure that Dick could hear it, and slowly turned Dick around. His eyes were red and wet and Jason pulled him into his arms. Dick seemed to deflate as he hugged back, gripping onto Jason’s jacket for dear life as he buried his face in his brother’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jason whispered, again and again as Dick trembled.

“I’m sorry,” Dick sobbed, clutching onto him tighter.

“It’s okay, Dickiebird. We’re here.”

Jason’s hushed promise finally propelled Duke out of his seat. He walked over to them loudly, and gently laid his hand on Dick’s back. When Dick didn’t react, Duke slid his arms around both of them, laying his head against Dick’s shoulder blade.

He felt one of Tim’s hands grip onto his arm, the other one resting lower on Dick’s back as they all held onto him. 

They stayed like that, one big huddle in the middle of Dick’s apartment, until Dick shifted back a little. Tim and Duke both squeezed him before backing off a little. Dick brushed off the damp moisture that clung to his cheeks and eyelashes as he stood up straight again. He sniffed before speaking, though his voice still sounded as wet as his face and Jason’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, swallowing back his pain.

“Dick, you’ve been harassed and assaulted since you were Duke’s age,” Tim told him softly, ignoring the way Dick’s eyes cringed shut. “That’s going to leave a mark on you. I’m sorry that no one ever noticed; that no one told you that it isn’t your fault.” Tim moved forward, hugging Dick around his middle again. “It never was.”

“Every time I tried to talk about it, to tell someone how uncomfortable I was, how much I was hurting, I just got shut down,” Dick admitted quietly, his arms tightening around Tim’s shoulders. _“‘You’re just too pretty, people can’t help themselves,’_ or _‘have you tried not being such a flirt?’_ Hell, when the Titans found out about Miriam, one of them called me a _slut_ and asked who was better. I felt like I was going to throw up, and they were treating it like-” Dick broke off, shaking again as he buried his face in Tim’s hair.

Duke put his hand on Dick’s back again, rubbing in small circles. He could see the rage that had found its way back onto Jason’s face, but the man forced it down until Duke couldn’t find it anymore. He had a feeling Jason would be revisiting it later.

Dick lifted his head a little, looking toward Jason. “I’m sorry I blew up at you.”

Jason hugged Dick again, sandwiching Tim between them, who let out a small ‘oof’ at the sudden squishing. “Not like I’ve never yelled at you for shit you didn’t deserve.”

“Still,” Dick insisted, “I shouldn’t be putting _my_ shit on you. I’m…” He trailed off, sighing. “I’m the oldest; I should be able to be there for you guys, to help you carry your burdens; not put mine onto your shoulders.”

“That’s what family’s for,” Duke said, feeling a little awkward as three heads turned toward him simultaneously. “They help you up when you’re feeling down, and they catch you when you’re falling. Sometimes, it’s a little more _literal_ with this family, but we’re still here for you, Dick. All of us. You’re allowed to need us as much as we need you.”

Dick smiled warmly at him. There was a deep pain in his eyes, but he extricated himself from his brothers’ arms and reached out toward Duke with one of his own. “You’re in this family too, you know.”

Duke smiled back timidly, but he took the invitation, fitting himself in next to Tim as Dick and Jason’s arms closed around him again. Duke wiggled one arm around Tim, giving him a brief squeeze as well. He knew no one had forgotten what Tim had admitted to earlier, and he had plans to distract Tim with ice cream and video games later, or a skate park, if they could get away with it. Tim had confessed once that he missed skating sometimes, and had done it a lot more when he was younger, back before his life came crashing down around him.

Duke had always felt a little like an outsider. Every one of the Bats had history with each other and they all had complex relationships that Duke couldn’t even begin to guess at. Sometimes, he appreciated the simplicity in his interactions with them; after all, so far, no one had tried to kill him or given him the arcticly cold shoulder. Bruce had apparently mellowed out a lot recently, listening to his kids more and doing his best to keep his relationships with them amiable, and Duke was _extremely_ glad he hadn’t been around for Batman at his worst if that _was_ the case. But sometimes, it left him with a hollow ache when they’d laugh about something that happened years ago, a shared memory he wasn’t privy to.

So yeah, it hurt sometimes to realize he’d probably never quite have what they already had with each other. But occasionally, that’s exactly what let him see what was staring them all directly in the face. And if that helped them heal some of the wounds they hid from each other, then Duke couldn’t complain too much.

Besides, he _did_ actually like what he already had. Their hugs were really great.

**Author's Note:**

> here's the thing (and this'll be long, so buckle up kids): i wrote this for a couple of reasons. first, the entire situation in the video that tim and duke watched is based on something that happened to a youtuber i've liked for a long time, and it's something that i've been upset about for several years now. i felt skeevy for the .2 seconds i even considered writing about it using the actual person it happened to, though. it felt wrong to even think about assuming that i knew how that affected him, how he was feeling, what he was thinking before/during/after, etc, especially when this whole fic is basically just me getting on my angry soapbox, so i'm using a fictional character instead.  
> second, i specifically chose to use dick as an outlet for how i'm feeling about THAT whole thing because i'm tired of stuff very much like this happening to him, in canon and fanon, without anyone saying something. dick grayson is canonically a rape survivor in multiple cases. he is consistently sexualized in canon and by the fandom with no regard to the fact that multiple times, also in canon, he's shown that he's uncomfortable with that kind of attention.  
> yes, he's a very attractive man and several people have commented on how nice his ass is after a lifetime of acrobatics; no, that doesn't make it funny or okay when people feel him up or talk about him like he's not even there. people say over and over that men can be victims too, that men can be harassed just as much as women, but when it actually happens, the attitude turns around and i'm so sick of it. dick grayson has been forced away from the guy that doesn't like one night stands and falls in love deeply and completely, and is instead portrayed as the playboy that flirts nonstop, can’t keep his hands off the ladies (thank you so much for that one, Devin Grayson), and is incapable of eating anything besides cereal.  
> genuinely, this is just a vent fic for me because i'm upset, i'm tired, and i want to make someone else think about how wrong all of this is, even if it's just one person. i always turn to writing for things that i want to talk about like this, and when it's fanfiction, you can reach a much wider audience that will have far more sympathy and understanding when you frame it in terms of someone they already care about and don't want to see hurt, so that's why i'm doing this and that's why i'm doing it specifically in the way that i am. if you made your way through this chunk of text, thank you, and i hope this made even the slightest bit of sense to you. 
> 
> although the actual context isn't needed to read this story if you're just here for the batfam, if you do want to know what youtuber and video i'm referring to, the link down below is a compilation that includes the footage of both incidents, as well as a liveshow and a video he did later on where he talked a bit about how uncomfortable he felt with the whole situation and the pressure he felt that kept him from doing anything about it. i'll be describing the videos themselves fairly well in the actual fic, but i figured i'd give the option to anyone who wanted it  
> https://youtu.be/GxlPL2Q293Y


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